To the Main Page

I was pretty geeky in college.

Horrible drawings brought to you by the late Rex the Dog.

It's my resume. Total Snoozer.

The Monkey Pit. Preferred by Monkeys. Approved by Wankus!

All original content (c)
Ben Cremeens

The "Paradron Medic"
A handful of badly done screencaps from "Fight or Flee"
Now with Tech Specs, Fan Art (NEW!), and Horrible Accessory Kitbash Pics!

Use this banner to link to this lame page!
Hey kids! Right click and save this so you can link to this stupid page! Be the first to be the lamest kid on your block!

When word got out about the "Heroes of Cybertron" Transformers PVC figurines, there were a few raised eyebrows. (Apex Armor Powermaster Optimus Prime?) But the one that drew the most questions was a green Arcee figure labelled "Paradron Medic".

Who the heck is Paradron, and why is she a medic? Turns out our friend the medic was an inhabitant of the planet Paradron in the Season 3 episode "Fight or Flee." She doesn't seem to have a name, and as I discovered when I watched this ep for the first time in a decade, she doesn't even have a speaking role...

Until now! With her new Tech Spec (on the card included with the figure), Paradron Medic gets a quote even if she doesn't get a proper name.

TECH SPEC - Paradron Medic
Autobot Medical Technician

Motto: "All War is Unjust"

The Paradron Medic is compassionate, kind, and committed to peace. Fled Cybertron eons ago with her Autobot allies, during the civil wars. Inhabited the peaceful, energy-rich planet Paradron until it was invaded and taken over by Decepticons. Uses an energon infuser and other medical devices to revive and preserve the lives of her fellow Transformers. Believes in the value of all life and will not hesitate to help anyone in need of care.

 STR: 3
INT: 9
SPD: 5
END: 4
RNK: 5
CGE: 8
FRP: 2
SKL: 10

Click on the pictures for much bigger, much much lower quality screen caps.

When Scourge and Cyclonus crash land on Paradron, Cyclonus finds himself in the arms of our now-famous Arcee repaint.
While she does better than Arcee with the fact that she isn't pink, our nameless friend is now in a motherly nursing role instead of packing a gun. Way to strike a crushing blow against the patriarchical oppressors, girlfriend!! Note the use of the patent pending Energon Infuser (tm). Paradronian technology is so amazing; it looks just like a spoon!
Our favorite sycophant with bunny ears refuses to be spoonfed. Florence Nightingale tries to restrain him.
It doesn't work too well. I'm beginning to feel that our Medic isn't the strong female character type.
While Cyclonus vomits in the energon well, the Medic admires his backside from afar...
It's about this time that Scourge notices that she paints her fingernails the same color he does. He gets jealous.
CATFIGHT!
It, of course, doesn't last long. This girl needs to learn herself some self-assertion.
Wait. THERE'S TWO OF THEM!! Gawd. I can just see the fans drooling over the Green Arcee Twins now. <<shudder>>
And here's her last appearance in the cartoon, fifteen minutes later. Standing in the background. Hooray, Paradron Medic! You earned that toy in your likeness!

Paradronian Fan Art
A truly obscure character finally getting a toy of some measure deserves to be celebrated in fan art. If you'd like to donate a piece, simply email me at Obsequiosity@yahoo.com.
I'll kick things off with something I scratched out long ago, with a face-off (well, more than just the face) between our heroine and our favorite toaster.
This was originally an Arcee pic by Artemis Prime, which I hijacked and mutilated, bending her beautiful coloring job to my will. Artemis seemed to like it, and said I could put it here. Thanks, Art!
Woo! A new piece of art donated by Lynx, who is designing a Paradron Medic with an alt-mode. He drew the line art and set up what colors went where, and I airbrushed a few shadows and highlights on it. The picture has progressed quite a bit from the original sketch, which had different fenders, cleavage, and a garter belt. (Maybe if she'd stand up for herself against a lousy Sweep, she wouldn't get objectified like that...)

The Energon Infuser (tm) Kitbash
I recently found a Meijer's wall slathered with Paradron Medic figures after months of absolutely no PVCs at all. Upon opening the package, I was pleased to find that Arcee's Incredibly Tall Shoulder Pads (tm) come off, making the Paradron Medic a much more accurate repaint than I was expecting. However, there was a glaring discrepancy. The Paradron Medic is carrying a gun! Even worse, there is no Energon Infuser (tm) accessory! A quick kitbash corrected this grievous error.

LET THERE BE SPOON!

Pointless Digression:
In a scene in the middle of the cartoon, Magnus and Wheelie are attacked by some 'cons, including this rocket launchin' mofo.
Who is this guy?

Within a few hours of having this page up, CoolSlider let me know that this was Long Haul, miscolored in blue. (Thanks, CS!) A Mark Coroner recently emailed me to let me know that many of the "miscolors" were likely intentionally done with Diaclone color schemes to create new characters. (Armada has taken a similar strategy to create background fodder.)

While I have found a Hook in blue, I haven't seen a blue Diaclone Long Haul yet. Still, it's a good possibility that the "Fight or Flee" animators created background fodder with a tip of the hat to the classic toyline. Nostalgia way before its time. I dig it. Thanks, Mark!






Back to Obs' Lame TF Page

All screencaps done by Obsequiosity. All text done by Obsequiosity All art not specified as otherwise is mine; and the others are hosted on permission by the original artists. I own this page and I will own your soul nex...er, um. Hi. Didn't think you would read this...